Friday, February 5, 2016

New jokes

Jokes







1. You are too late!

On the bus a man discovered a pickpocket’s hand thrust into his pocket.
“Sorry” he asked to the pickpocket, “you are too late. My wife did it before you.”


2.

The Chemical Formula for water




Teacher: What the chemical formula for water is?
Emerson: H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O!!
Teacher: What are you talking about?
Emerson: Yesterday you said its H to O!


3.

Not too bad






“Did you sell any of your paintings at the art show?”
“No, but I am encouraged,” he replied. “Somebody stole one.”



4. How many people do you have, please?


An American stepped into a gun shop, “Give me the most powerful shotgun.”
“How many bullets do you need?”
The American walked to a telephone booth, “Hello. Is that the bank? How many people do you have, please?”


5. Revenge




Old farmer Jack was dying. The family was standing around his bed. With a low voice he said to his wife, “When I’m dead I want you to marry farmer Wagner”
Wife, “No, I can’t marry anyone after you.”
Jack, “But I want you to”
Wife, “But why?”

Jack, “Wagner once cheated me in a horse deal!”

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