New jokes

1. What soldiers ? 

Wife: Dear! Take a look at these soldiers gawking at the lovely young girl passing by.
Husband: Soldiers ? What soldiers?

2. One or two 

Customer: Waiter, I've only got one piece of meat in my dish.
Waiter: Just a moment sir, and I'll cut it in two.

3. Your horse called 

A guy is reading his newspaper when his wife walks up behind him and smacks him on the back of the read with a frying pan.

He asks, "What was that for?"
She says."I found a piece of paper in your pocket with 'Betty Sue' written on it.
He says, "Jeez, honey, 'Betty Sue' was the name of the horse I bet on. "She shrugs and walks away.

Three days later he's reading his newspaper when she walks up behind him and smacks him on the back of the head again with the frying pan.

He asks, "What was that for?"
She answer, "Your horse called."

4. Father and son 

Son: Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?
Dad: That happens in every country, son.

5. The cost of marriage 

A little boy asked his father. "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"
And father replied,"I don't know son, I'm still paying."

6. Poisonous snakes

Father and son snake are out for a nice afternoon slither.
The son asks, "Dad, are we poisonous snakes?"
The father replies proudly, "Yes son, we are ratter snakes!
Why do you ask son ?
"Because Dad, I just bit my tongue!!"

LOVE FOR SMILE